Japanese dating manners

25-Dec-2017 05:49 by 3 Comments

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‘In Germany I never been single for longer than a few months, I had never had problems about dating a guy.

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They always get approached by guys and don’t have to make the first step themselves. It’s always interesting to hear all the boring questions they ask when they try to hit on guys: ‘What’s your name? Despite that, she is having difficulties with dating.To be fair, I used to feel that most kids of my age weren’t mature enough.I am less judgemental now because I realise that I might simply have had a differently way of measuring maturity. Isabel, a German girl who has been living in Japan for about half a year, is a good example.He might be judging Japanese women based on his cultural values without taking into account the Japanese context.Since he didn’t specify what made him think that girls of his age were childish I can only speculate, but if he doesn’t make effort to unlearn his cultural values and learn new sets of values, he is likely to continue having difficulty.He might be right, but the word ‘childish’ makes me think that his culture might have a different concept of maturity.

Being ‘mature’ in Japan can be seen as ‘childish’ elsewhere and vice versa.I wrote him many cute love letters in Japanese and English but he didn’t reply for many months.After some time I finally asked him in person and he told me that he can’t date me because we work in the same team.’ Clearly, he was not interested but she wasn’t giving up. I made him a Bento, baked a cake for him and organized a super-fun birthday party for him a few weeks ago.It is commonly believed that dating in Japan is easy for non-Asian (particularly white) men and hard for women.I came across a blog post by zoomingjapn, a German girl living in Japan, writing about dating in Japan as a foreigner. She writes, ‘It is comparably easy for a western foreign man to find a Japanese woman or to have a nice relationship here in Japan’, but ‘it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan.’ Her story is interesting in itself but the most interesting part of the article is the huge number of comments gets – 162 comments (or about 30,000 words! A lot of people who commented actually disagree with her.I’m not saying he should adapt himself completely; it’s ultimately his choice.

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